Thursday, October 29, 2009

Here Goes

So daily I am checking a friend's blog about her new baby-to-be, and then I started reading blogs that hers was linked to and thanks to her proding, I've begun my own.. Or so I will try..

So.. Love and Marriage. As someone who was single for what felt like an eternity, when Mike and I finally got together I felt like finally. Here I AM! and I felt so old... I was 27 when we met and I felt like there was some large clock ticking, ticking, ticking. Waiting for this magical moment when I would "hook my wagon" (to cheesy considering the title?) to someone else and then be complete. And now, six months later, I am extremely intrigued to find that it isn't what I thought it was, it's more and it's less.

It's more.. it's more calming than I thought, it's more comforting than I thought and it's more challenging than I thought. It's just a ring, right? Mike and I had been together for two and a half years when we got married so how much of a difference could it make? I mean, we lived together and after the ceremony it didn't feel so different.

But now, I notice it in small ways, those differences. How people regard us. We aren't just boyfriend/girlfriend. We are a FAMILY. It's not just talking about yeah, someday we'll.... or maybe someday we'll... We are there! We are looking at houses (more to come) and looking at where our kids might go to school, and we are talking about it with our friends. Those seem like small things and yet here I am.

And the question remains - I am happy and feel so awesome and Mike and I figure out our way down our trail (still? Cheesey?). But do all those goals that I now feel like I have to have because the clock is ticking tick ticking are they really going to be what I think they are going to be? Maybe in big ways, maybe in small ways.

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