Friday, November 13, 2009

bed vacancy

So for the first time since we've moved to Minnesota, Mike and I are spending two nights apart. In fact, this may be the most nights in a row we have spent apart since we got married.

Thus, I'm writing this post from my vacant (nearly) bed. No kitty, which we left in New Hampshire and I miss desperately. (Small plug: Adopt from your local humane society.. best animals who need forever homes.) No Mike who does hog the bed and serve as my own personal space heater. Funny, but lying here I remember when I was single and how I would lay in the middle of the bed, this bed in fact, and spread out and think how BIG my bed was. These days Mike and I have begun the debate of whether or not to get a king size or queen size bed because this full size is just not cutting it, according to Mike. You add one person to your life and wham! suddenly things that were perfectly sized are tiny, a pain or something you wish you could supersize.

The thing that keeps me thinking about this bed is this: It was my first "big girl" purchase after I got my first job. When I moved to my first place I slept on a blow up mattress for two months before I purchased it and spent many store hours looking for the right one. And I love it! It's exactly the kind of bed for me.. pillow top, firm but not rock hard, all my bed linens fit it, and it has fit in every apartment since. So letting it go is necessary I suppose, and I imagine we'll keep it just to have in our guest room but it won't be my bed anymore.

So tonight's question? Can I have visitation rights with it? Can I go for maybe a weekend visit? Probably a silly thing to be attached to but.. This is the thing I've slept with for seven years! Its cradled me when I was sick, was the location of a few, uhhh parties (aka sleepovers) and its the right one for me. I don't know if I'm ready to break it off even though rationally I know it's the right thing to do.

Dear Bed,
Mike made me do it.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009


So my birthday is coming up this weekend, and it's a biggie..... Three Oh. Wow. But I'm embracing it, or at least thinking about embracing it.

Anyhow, this weekend my husband bought me our first "married" birthday present. The first gift giving occasion since we've gotten married and ergo, combined bank accounts. So the question was, how is a gift going to be a surprise if it comes from our account which he and I monitor pretty religiously. Not crazy with a penny by penny accounting but if a hundred bucks was gone, we'd notice.

So my husband's decision was to buy the gift with me present because in his opinion it was coming out of our account anyway and so why not just get it with me there? It was exactly what I wanted and it was on sale (romance?) and we were there, so... Now what? When you first dating, the gifts are amazing. My first birthday with my husband when we were dating he swept me away to an amazing hotel in Maine with champagne and shopping. It was wonderful. This year he got me TWO Le Creuset pots, which if you cook you know those are amazing and top of the line and I will never need them replaced. But.. surprise? No. I feel amazingly lucky that Mike thought to get me these and wanted to get me such a wonderful gift.

So we are left with the question, is a surprise that important or is it just great to have him remember your birthday? As a new to marriage lady, I'm just wondering how do you surprise your spouse with a gift anyway?

Thursday, October 29, 2009

His other love

So Mike and I got engaged at a Sara Evans concert. He loves her and often refers to her as his "girlfriend". She hasn't called yet or even blinked his way, so I think I'm okay. He declared since he knew Sara would never be his girl... Okay that isn't what he said it was all more mushy than that, but we joked about that afterwords. Its one of my favorite things about being married. The inside jokes.

Anyway, besides Sara (and trust me, when Mike says Sara, I know who he refers to), Mike is also in love with his Jeep. He has the great memories of riding in the back of his dad's old Jeep Willie and so when he decided to get a new vehicle it had to be a jeep. So we search hither and yon and find "THE ONE". It was love at first sight. Tan Top, Patriot Blue paint, a soft top which would allow for rides in the summer around the lake with no barriers. It had to be his, and it was.

So Mike brings her home, and to my amazement the Jeep has wanted for nothing since coming to our little family. A new engine, a new top, radio, floor mats, tires, the list goes on. Yes, I know vehicles need matienence but when the Jeep became the honorary groomsman at our wedding, it was more than that. People laughed, didn't believe me until they saw it in the program. There was even a time when we were going to ride in it to the reception but there was no way I was hoisting myself into it in my dress.

Yesterday he called me from work. Something was wrong with the Jeep! (cue horror music) Not only did Mike leave work early, call around to multiple car shops (since we are new to the area, we don't have a go-to guy), and find a place to tow the Jeep, but I saw there was a GENUINE worry about the fact that an unknown person would have the Jeep in their posession. There were no tears, but real worry.. One would think they were taking Mike's first born away.

However, to quote a good friend, "Stace, it could be worse. Drugs, other women, NASCAR." Amen. It could be NASCAR.

Here Goes

So daily I am checking a friend's blog about her new baby-to-be, and then I started reading blogs that hers was linked to and thanks to her proding, I've begun my own.. Or so I will try..

So.. Love and Marriage. As someone who was single for what felt like an eternity, when Mike and I finally got together I felt like finally. Here I AM! and I felt so old... I was 27 when we met and I felt like there was some large clock ticking, ticking, ticking. Waiting for this magical moment when I would "hook my wagon" (to cheesy considering the title?) to someone else and then be complete. And now, six months later, I am extremely intrigued to find that it isn't what I thought it was, it's more and it's less.

It's more.. it's more calming than I thought, it's more comforting than I thought and it's more challenging than I thought. It's just a ring, right? Mike and I had been together for two and a half years when we got married so how much of a difference could it make? I mean, we lived together and after the ceremony it didn't feel so different.

But now, I notice it in small ways, those differences. How people regard us. We aren't just boyfriend/girlfriend. We are a FAMILY. It's not just talking about yeah, someday we'll.... or maybe someday we'll... We are there! We are looking at houses (more to come) and looking at where our kids might go to school, and we are talking about it with our friends. Those seem like small things and yet here I am.

And the question remains - I am happy and feel so awesome and Mike and I figure out our way down our trail (still? Cheesey?). But do all those goals that I now feel like I have to have because the clock is ticking tick ticking are they really going to be what I think they are going to be? Maybe in big ways, maybe in small ways.